Dichiarazione d'intenti, a me stessa (e, collateralmente, al mondo)

Non ho più intenzione di scusarmi come sono.

Non agli altri, non a me stessa.

Sono come sono, casini ed insicurezze e tutto e devo lavorarci su per cambiarlo ma questa è la persona che sono ora e non voglio più sentirmi male perchè lo sono.

Ogni volta che qualcosa va male, ogni volta che qualcosa va storto, automaticamente inizio a scusarmi, a denigrarmi, a mettermi in dubbio, a 'second-guess' me stessa come dicono gli inglesi. Mi sale il panico, mi viene mal di stomaco, mi si chiude la gola, mi salgono le lacrime, mi si mozza il respiro e mi sento terrorizzata che con il mio atteggiamento allontanerò chi è ancora disposto a starmi accanto e finisco per ottenere la stessa cosa mentre cerco disperatamente di fare il contrario.

Da ora in poi, *basta*.

Basta scuse, basta vergogna.

Sono chi sono, sto cambiando me stessa ma non sono ancora cambiata del tutto.

Vaffanculo vado, e va, bene così.

(no subject)

‘I’ and ‘you’ focus light

like decorative holes cut

in a lampshade.

But there is only One Light.

‘I’ and ‘you’ throw a

thin veil between

heaven and earth.

Lift the veil and all

creeds and theologies disappear.

When ‘I’ and ‘you’ vanish,

how can I tell whether I am

in a mosque, a synagogue,

a church, or an observatory.

Shabistari – Sufi poet

Tabella prompt bingo

E così mi sono iscritta a prompt bingo, fandom originale (leggasi: Tales of the Unseen World).

Qui c'è è la mia tabella.

So, I signed up for prompt bing, original fandom (read: Tales of the Unseen World).

Here's my table.

Tradition Compassion Picture. Friendly fire Argument
Emotional abuse Love triangle Nightmares I Stand - Idina Menzel Picture
Biased Picture Authors Choice Rooftops - Landon Pigg Last call
Sunshine Of Your Love - Ella Fitzgerald Gratitude An ending Nausea Electron Blue - R.E.M
Across the miles Roleplay Star gazing Take Me Out - Franz Ferdinand Indignation


So, since 2.10 this morning I've straddled the quarter of a century mark as I now am 25 years old.

... I still feel fifteen, whoop-de-fucking-do.


Allora, dalle 2.10 di stamattina sono a cavallo della definizione un quarto di secolo visto che ora ho 25 anni.

... mi sento ancora quindicenne, oh gioia delle gioie.
  • Current Music
    Anna Tsuchiya - Zero
  • Tags
sexual revolution by me

For the italian pornfest 2010

These are fics for the fanficitalia italian pornfest 2010 (or pornfest #4), the second one I'm partecipating in.

These are in my motherlanguage, italian, but I am going to translate them, if anyone is interested in reading them.

The prompts I filled (so fare) are:

* ORIGINAL, Lighter / Cigarette, "Just gonna stand there and watch me burn" (Eminem feat. Rihanna - Love the way you lie)

* ORIGINAL, F / F, Lipstick, high heels and rock'n'roll

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My table for 100_situation, if they accept me

What it's written in the header.

Fandom: The Losers
Type of Fandom: Movie
Character/Pairing/Group/General Series: Group: Jake Jensen, Carlos "Cougar" Alvarez, Franklin Clay, William Roque, Linwood "Pooch" Porteous | Pairing: Jake Jensen x Carlos "Cougar" Alvarez
Table Prompt: Table Three

001.Finger 002.Bad 003.Intelligence 004.Announce 005.Day
006.Murder 007.Sad 008.Plan 009.Ill 010.Secret
011.Behind 012.Want 013.Stranded 014.Wealthy 015.Marriage
016.Affected 017.Long Hours 018.Worthy 019.Sinful 020.Obvious
021.Caught 022.Splatter 023.Flight 024.Slip 025.Escape
026.Honor 027.Ashamed 028.Attentive 029.Motivated 030.Grovel
031.Swear 032.Shoot 033.Switch 034.Promise 035.Crawl
036.Hell 037.Grin 038.Hug 039.Burn 040.Kiss
041.Mute 042.Suffocate 043.Punch 044.Exile 045.Plead
046.Strong 047.Defenseless 048.Discover 049.Action 050.Sport
051.Memorable 052.Die 053.Missing 054.Luck 055.Rescue
056.Abort 057.Possessed 058.Graveyard 059.Trail 060.Walk
061.Plunge 062.Jump 063.Self-conscious 064.Suspicious 065.Mistake
066.Complicated 067.Black Out 068.Reveal 069.Grotesque 070.Swim
071.Resign 072.Nonsense 073.Declare 074.Corrupt 075.Wrong
076.Right 077.Administer 078.Embrace 079.Argue 080.Lose
081.Monster 082.Hit 083.Build 084.Destroy 085.Breathe
086.Assist 087.Stab 088.Bite 089.Hunger 090.Passage
091.Drama 092.Haunted 093.Crisis 094.Dirty 095.Emotional
096.Writer‘s Choice. 097.Writer‘s Choice. 098.Writer‘s Choice. 099.Writer‘s Choice. 100.Writer‘s Choice.
sexual revolution by me

(no subject)

Nanowrimo has taken my life over and I'm even writing it in english.

I'm way ahead of what I should be but I'm kind of sure, by now, that 50k are just a sea in the ocean of what I'm going to end up writing.

It scares me a little to be honest.

Here's the intro to my Nano (though anyone who reads this is free to skip it over):

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And I wrote Hetalia fic (Canada-related but from England POV) for Emocezi and The Losers/Lupin the 3rd crossover because it didn't let me be.

Is anyone interested in reading those?

Oh I also wrote Inception/Brick crossover.

If someone wants to read them let me know, I'll post them :)

ETA: To add meme (lifted from sailor_jup88 done with original characters so if you want to read it's cool but I understand why you wouldn't if you don't.

The meme is: Choose 15 characters and then answers the following questions.

The PGs I've chosen are from an original vampire gdr I've invented for my friend shraen
(and, as such, some of them are going to be in my nano) and from the Condominium rpg I've been doing my friend N03 (as I call her in my mind)

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